Something Quite Different To Me
by Arien Laurelin
Summary: All these stories about Sabe and Obi-Wan! Rubbish! When did she have time to fool around with him? It's time Eirtae got a go. Oh, and there isn't really any poetry in it.


DISCLAIMER:            Neither the handmaiden Eirtae nor Obi-Wan Kenobi belong to me. I extend a special thank you to George Lucas for letting me have a play with them for awhile. I promise to wash them properly before I hand them back.

*Celebrations meant one thing to you I see, and something quite different to me.*

The wardrobe door slid open with a soft hiss, and on its rightful silvery hanger the heavy green cloak was hung.

Eirtae used this as the distraction – the reason not to look at him. It didn't matter to her that he would see through such a cheap trick; she just couldn't bear to make eye contact.

'I suppose this means you're going now,' she was saying casually. Thank the stars her voice didn't betray her to reveal the trembling mess she was inside.

The Jedi's hands were folded in his humble brown robe. Slowly he nodded. 'I am sorry, Eirtae.'

Eirtae shrugged. 'Happens. I would suppose it happens anyway. Not that I have had that much experience in these matters.'

'I wish we had longer, you know.'

She flushed a deep shade of red. He was watching her closely, feeling a firm ache settle in his chest. Obi-Wan never meant to hurt the girl. He knew now in hindsight that he should never have involved himself romantically with such a tender spirit. Never had promised her things doomed to end.

Certainly, they had both known this the first time on Tatooine, when they had been together aboard Amidala's starship. Well, he'd certainly understood. But, as the young Jedi had come to realize, she hadn't.

She was only a girl! He felt a pang of guilt thinking about that. How old was Amidala? Fourteen. And a decoy of hers could scarcely be any older than that. Eirtae was only a young, innocent little girl once you stripped away her power, position, pride and disguises of self-assured confidence. Only a girl, and he had broken her heart.

On the other side of the room, Eirtae listened to the Celebration Parade winding down. Only with half an ear; most of her senses were attuned to test whether or no she could hear him breathing. The Handmaiden knew she couldn't go away with him. She knew he couldn't stay with her either. It probably meant nothing to him – a fling, a girl to "shag" during a mission. He'd probably go back to Coruscant or wherever it was he hung out and brag to all his little Jedi mates. There was no way she could make him love her. Lust driven him into her arms and bed, not love. Lust. Painfully, Eirtae could recall just how it had happened. Painful memories she would forever cherish.

~*~                  ~*~                  ~*~                  ~*~                  ~*~                  ~*~                  

He walks in on the Handmaiden when she is changing. An accident, an innocent mistake. The other Handmaidens are not there. Sabe and Rabe are in the throne room, and Padme is with the other Jedi and the Gungan.

So there is little Eirtae, clad only in white underclothes, and there he stands frozen by the door. Approving green-blue eyes roam over her body and eventually rest on hers. No – not on. In hers.

Perhaps he has seen her as human for once. Not as a Handmaiden. But here in her underclothes, blonde hair tumbling loose for once. Previously he has only seen her in her parallel outfits designed to lend further splendor to Amidala's costumes. Suddenly he sees her as an individual – a beautiful young woman.

'I'm sorry,' he apologises. Yet he does not back up one step. 'I ought to have knocked, I didn't think …'

'No, no it's alright,' she assures him, slipping into a black embroidered beige robe. 'Don't apologise ..'

An awkward pause follows. He hasn't gone anywhere and doesn't appear to want to. She shifts nervously, unsure.

'Pardon me for saying this,' Obi-Wan says, suddenly breaking the silence. 'I had ..' he stops, embarrassed before plunging on in a rush. 'I had never noticed how beautiful you were before.'

*Beauty meant one thing to you I see, and something quite different to me …*

Her cheeks burned. Few things embarrass her now, the exception being men. They scare her in a strange way – she doesn't know how to deal with them. Eirtae is an expert in etiquette matters, but no chapter in her studies ever covers men.

Obi-Wan looks on in another awkward pause, realizing he has said the wrong thing. 'Uh, sorry ..'

Eirtae looks up, shaking her head. 'No, it's fine … thank you ..?'

He smiles at her awkwardness. 'You're most certainly welcome.' Cautiously, as if approaching a flighty lamb, he leans forward to offer her his hand. 'Obi-Wan Kenobi.'

She takes the hand. 'Eirtae Lasckar.'

~*~                  ~*~                  ~*~                  ~*~                  ~*~                  ~*~                  

That touch became the first of many. Needless to say, that had been the most chaste of them all. From then on it had been nothing short of demanding kisses …

*Only it had meant one thing to you I see, and something quite different to me ..*

Obi-Wan unconsciously shuffled on the spot, his calm teetering. He could sense her frustration rising, he could sense her anger at evitable rejection. Damnit Kenobi, you stupid, stupid …

'Eirtae ..'

She shook her head.

'We need to talk.'

'There's nothing to talk about. You'd better hurry or you're going to miss you flight.' 

Evenly, Obi-Wan replied, 'Eirtae … not like this. Please, I don't want to end it like this.'

'It's already ended. She snapped. 'Please, just go.'

'Eirtae, listen to me. I can't take you with me. I-'

'I know that!'

'If you know that, why are you acting like this?'

She looked up at him, furious. But as her eyes took in his features her anger subsided, and she sighed. 'I don't know.' She conceded.

Obi-Wan's eyes were gentle as he gazed upon her. 'I'm sorry,' he said softly. 'I should never have done this to you. You're just a girl …'

Eirtae shook her head at him, the beginnings of aggravation stirring. 'And if that is how you think, then I understand you completely. Love meant one thing to you I see, and something quite different to me.' Clear pain from the knowledge of shattering the girl's hopes was written across his face. 'You had better go now.'

The Jedi looked like he wanted to say something more, but then came to his senses to realize he had said enough. Obi-Wan Kenobi left the room, turning his back on her for the second and final, time. A single thought bounded into his head:

*Goodbye meant one thing to you I see, and something quite different to me ….*


End file.
